There's a possibility that he may not be moving here. His dad isn't doing too well. Test results come back on Monday or Tuesday, and if it's something bad, he's not going to move here, he's going to move there to be with his family.
I can't even be mad at him for this. It's a totally legit reason. Family comes first. He needs to be there for his family.
But I want to be mad at him for this. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to throw things. I want to smash my car into a tree. I want to hate him, loathe him, despise him, and any other appropriate synonyms. But I can't. Because he's being a good guy.
What am I going to do if he has to move there? I'm just going to assume that he is, because good things don't come to me. Why would something work out for once in my life? That would be completely unrealistic. But what am I going to do? If him being 300 miles away didn't work, him being 700 miles away (or however fucking far away it is) is certainly not going to work. We're gonna have to break up. Wait...we aren't even together. How does that work? I guess you just say goodbye forever. I can't move out there. I have too much here (I say that, yet I really have nothing). I'm uncomfortable with change. With new things. With new people. With new situations.
I think I'm gonna go watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Seems appropriate at the moment.
FUCK.
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